What is Hold Me Tight?
Hold Me Tight® is a structured two-day couples retreat program developed by Dr. Sue Johnson — the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy and author of the bestselling book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. It brings couples through seven key conversations rooted in attachment science — guiding them to understand the cycles that keep them stuck, access the deeper emotions beneath conflict, and build a lasting, secure bond.
Unlike conventional couples therapy, Hold Me Tight is an educational and experiential program. It is equally powerful for couples who are struggling and couples who simply want more depth and connection in a relationship that is already good. No couple shares their private conversations with the group — all breakout work is done privately with your partner, supported by a trained facilitator.
The seven conversations
Over two days, couples move through seven EFT-based conversations — each one building on the last:
Conversation 1
Recognizing the Demon Dialogues
Identifying the negative cycles — Find the Bad Guy, the Protest Polka, Freeze and Flee — that keep couples stuck, and naming your own pattern together.
Conversation 2
Finding Your Raw Spots
Going beneath the surface to find the deeper, softer emotions — the fears and attachment needs that actually drive your reactions to each other.
Conversation 3
Revisiting a Rocky Moment
Taking a past conflict and seeing it through new eyes — understanding how each partner's moves triggered the other, and sharing the deeper feelings that were never expressed.
Conversation 4
Hold Me Tight
The heart of the retreat — learning to ask for what you need in a vulnerable way, and learning to respond to your partner's deeper longings with presence and care.
Conversation 5
Forgiving Injuries
Healing old wounds that haven't fully closed — moving through the seven steps of forgiveness toward a new story of the injury and the healing.
Conversation 6
Bonding Through Sex & Touch
Exploring the connection between emotional safety and physical intimacy — understanding the three kinds of sex and moving toward secure, synchronous closeness.
Conversation 7
Keeping Your Love Alive
Creating rituals of connection, building repair strategies, and writing a future love story together — so the work of the retreat continues long after it ends. "Life is not the mountain tops. It's the walking in between." — Ben Rector
Created for Connection — the faith-based adaptation
I also facilitate Created for Connection — the Christian adaptation of Hold Me Tight developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer. It brings the same evidence-based EFT framework into a spiritual context, integrating Christian theology of love, covenant, and attachment. The conversations are the same in structure — and equally powerful — with additional depth for couples whose faith is central to how they understand love and marriage.
As a former pastor and minister with deep roots in pastoral care and spiritual direction, I bring both clinical expertise and genuine spiritual sensitivity to Created for Connection retreats. These retreats are ideal for church communities, marriage ministries, and couples who want their faith to be part of their healing.
Past retreat locations
Tennessee, USA
Nashville & Brentwood area
Hold Me Tight workshops
Virtual & in-person
Malaysia
Kampar, Kuala Lumpur & beyond
Created for Connection 2024
Grand Kampar Hotel
International
Nepal & across Asia
Hold Me Tight & C4C
Church & community settings
What couples experience
"The greatest gift EFT has given us is the realization that love isn't just about shared interests or compatibility, but about the dance of connection and disconnection. We found the strength to rewrite our relationship narrative, and for that, we are forever grateful."
— J & L
"Through EFT, we explored uncharted territories of our emotions — a voyage we embarked on with much apprehension. Yet as we braved the storm, we found a lighthouse guiding us toward understanding and acceptance. It's as if we've decoded the secret language of our relationship."
— C & Q
About the facilitator
All Hold Me Tight and Created for Connection retreats are facilitated by Joash Koh — a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, ICEEFT-certified EFT therapist, and former pastoral counselor with over a decade of clinical experience.
Joash brings genuine warmth, clinical depth, and cross-cultural fluency to every retreat he leads. Having facilitated retreats across Tennessee, Malaysia, and Nepal — in both English and Malay — he understands the particular dynamics of each community he serves. As a former church minister, he brings authentic spiritual sensitivity to Created for Connection retreats that goes beyond the professional.
Recommended reading before attending: Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson, or Created for Connection by Kenneth Sanderfer and Dr. Sue Johnson (for the faith-based program).
Upcoming retreats & how to register
Retreat dates are announced periodically for Tennessee and Malaysia. To be notified of upcoming Hold Me Tight and Created for Connection retreats, send me a message and mention which program and location interests you — I will add you to the notification list.
If you represent a church, organization, or community and are interested in hosting a retreat, I welcome those conversations. I have facilitated retreats for church congregations, small groups, and private couples — and can tailor the program to your community's context, language, and needs.
